This past weekend was just as obnxiously confusing as my previous ones. It is not bad enough that the girl I've had an interest in is no longer peaking my fancy, but yet a new girl that's caught my eye has in fact a BF. What irony. Could I possibly metion the word IRONY enough time on my blog? I think not!!! LIFE IS FULL OF IRONIES, MOST OF THEM TAKING YOU TO A DEGENERATIVE STATE OF BEING as was the case for me in the past few months. Here's what went down this weekend. Friday night, we a new bar. Quite nice and it reminds me of my favorite lounge, which in inhabited couple times a week. However, this "favorite lounge" of mine burnt down last winter. So I am no longer able to attend on a regular basis as so many other bargoers do. I think I've found the replacement to fill the void left by the burnt down lounge. Afterwards we hit a club/bar with an outside patio. It was one HELLA cold night. It's a good thing I wore a sweater. Well that was my friday night. Oh yeah, I got to talk to someone quite a distance away. That's was refreshing to be able to speak to her. I love your accent. Teach me to speak like you, JK. And then comes saturday night.

A friend came back after a 2 week hiatus to korea. We went out with my other friends in a group and hit up a nice club downtown. I had a little difficulty, but thanks to my "Other" friend, I was fortunate enough to get in. The night was mostly dancing and drinking. One of the best parts of it all was that it happened to be daylight savings time and we got in an extra hour of drinking. How often does that happen? JK. Once a year, but not always on a saturday or friday night. I could tel that the girl I was disinterested in kept trying to sway me over to her on the dance floor. I get so scared sometimes that I will be found out on from my friends about my blog. I WISH THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!! Anyways, after doing the "let's just get this freak over with" dance with her, I tried to make my "obnoxious move" on the other girl. It doesnt' help that she's got a bf, but she's such a Player. She flirts and teases me all the time. I know she does it intentionally and while I'm lost in the passionate stupor, I reciprocate it to her. What am I thinking? Apparently not with the head that I should be. jk She makes these little comments and does these things to me that makes me want her even more, or so I think. But I think I have her figured out. Even my friend saw right through her. She is absolutely without a doubt a player. However, she's an undercover player. She uses her BF as a front to make sure nothing "serious" ever happens with another guy and also as a mean of a source of jealousy for the suitors. Believe me when I tell you she's hot. 2 things are contradtive though. I believe she knows herself well enough to know she afford to pick and choose her man, but at the time she seems to have a slightly under inflated self confidence. She needs, better yet, craves the attention that men giver her in order to better her self esteem. What gives? She's just a big tease.

-aimless wanderer

What is man in my predicament to do? I feel guilty in wanting to persue her, but I want to so bad. Perhaps it's the primitive instinct in me. Those that which we cannot have, we shall desire more. But I swear, it's not my fault. She knows she's doing this to me. Offer me opinions!

What it all boils down to is the a simple theory of economics. Supply versus demand. I demand that she supplies me. She's the supply, and there's too much demand. She can't handle this!!! JK

Here I am listening to Blue Velvet and wondering why I would listen further to such a depressing song. If you ponder through all of the oldies, you begin to nice a post/pre-love motif. For instance, take Byond the Sea, or I'm so Loneosome and play it on your speakers. Notice the lyrics. Doesn't it make you feel as though life would end without a signifcant lover to accompany your ever mundane and banal life? I sure as heck feel that way after reflecting about it. Maybe it would be better for my sanity and mental health that I don't listen to these oldies and drown my mood in a more upbeat tempo. As I listen to Desitny (Photek Remix), by Zero 7, I feel like the motif is still ever vigilant and prevails even in modern times. Doesn't matter the genre of melodies, the same motif dominates all lyrics. Don't ask me why I talk about such nonsense because the only ansewr I have is that I'm baffled as well. GO FIGURE!

I'm excited as the days draw closer and closer to my depart from my current home and move on over to SEOUL!!!! Yes folks. It's almost that time. Late december will be the scheduled flight as I migrate to Seoul for 6 months. I am overwhelmed with enthusiatic excitement. Sometimes I can't bear the anxiety. I'm not sure what it is that I'm looking forward to, but I'll know it once I get there. SEOUL, HERE I COME!!!

47 days left until graduation. I can't wait!

Yes folks, it's that persistent bastard again. The unlikable Yellow Fella. Tis now 3:11 AM and to best of my knowledge, Mr. Sandman has skipped my room and went about his ways to visit other nice little boys and girls. I've finished the ever agonizing rituals of intelligence assesments known as MIDTERMS. I loathe such a word. It gives me cramps on my feet and my lips quiver from the pain. It send thoughts of agonizing twinge through my mind as I recall the last time I had to partake is such a ritual. Not only is this bad enough, but compound the problem by 5 folds and compressed into 2 meager days. It's like shoving a pink elephant into a lunch pail. Some may think it impossible, some just may think I'm nutz for thinking of a thought of such thoughtless things. What did I just make that last comment? I'm an alliterating fool!

Whatever you do, do not think of pink elephants

count down
60 days and counting...

Good god those Camel Toe inquirers are as vigilant as ever. The hits keep coming, and they're all seeking for one thing and none other than, you guessed it, Camel Toes. Oh well, they can look for it all they want, but good luck finding much of it on my site.

Well, I felt like blogging in the spur of the moment. It's now 65 days into the countdown. Everyone mark your calendar and come celebrate with me as I head out to paint the town red on december 10, 2002. That's right, my departure date from an institute of higher learning. Plans thus far have been made for the next several years of my life. I hope this venture of mine works out. Should I be successful at it, which I'll make sure I am, I shall be travelling to Asia quite a bit. Excitement! Anxiety! Terror! Fear! errrr... these are but a few emotions that linger inside me. There are plenty of important things that stir in the pits of my stomach, but as of now I'm trying to find my new snowboard. It seems my old on has been through some serious combat last year and needs replacing. Should anyone happen to find an afforadably price 2002 Burton Dragon 158, send me an e-mail and I'll be very greatful! Til next time. Same bat Time, same bat Channel!

=)

After speaking with the person I've been seeing since the begining of summer, I've come tot he conclusion that I shouldn't take the risk of spoiling the plutonic relationship that Patricia and I share. Considering that it's possible that I may be the only person between the two of us that feels compelled to reach out to grab her and whisper to her that she's the only one for me, I'd feel like the risk I take would be due to selfish reasons. It's mostly for my personal gain to exploit what we shared last new years. Rather, I'll keep life on the current track it's on. So for now it's back to the earlier girl.

I feel the time drawing near. As each night passes and another conversation with Patricia comes to a draw, I leave a larger and larger gaping hole to be filled with my answers. Mostly because I avoid every other question she asks and leaves her feeling empty inthe friendship canister. She asks me so many questions that can only lead to one thing, that would be to reveal my secrets about her. And if that were to happen, my happy little illusion of "US" being together might vanish. I'm not ready to find out how she feels. However, knowing I can't keep these feelings a secret forever, I let her know that I'd be cooperative and answer all of her prying question in due time (next time I see her)

I'm still hung up about Patricia and all signs point for us to stay as friends.

However, I'm still recieving tons of hits from google.com on the search criteria of Camel Toe Annie, it's crazy!!! When you type in those magical 3 words, I come up as the #1 site on google.com...strange isn't it? today I've had 64 hits from peole searching for camel toes....go figure...I'm assuming that the searcher are mostly men. Go Figure.